Once Bitten
by ericales
Summary: The first time they kiss, Iruka nearly bites off Kakashi's tongue.  KakaIru


The first time they kiss, Iruka nearly bites off Kakashi's tongue. 

* * *

><p>Iruka curls around the pain in his stomach where Kakashi struck him. The taste of Kakashi's blood fills his mouth. The memory of worse things rises in the back of his throat.<p>

Kakashi's mask is raised; the material clings wetly to the corner of his lips. His visible eye is cool, distant. He is looking at Iruka as he would an enemy.

Iruka gags. The instinctual panic he'd felt at having someone's tongue sweep past his lips has been overtaken by shame. Iruka can feel the agonized blush suffusing his cheeks. His ribs feel too small to contain his panting breaths. Strands of hair cling damply to Iruka's forehead, to the side of his neck. He feels unbalanced, chaotic.

Weak.

"I'm sorry," Iruka says. His voice is strained, pitched too high for any semblance of calm. The sound of his own voice makes loathing curl deep in the pit of Iruka's stomach. His hands fumble through the signs of a transportation jutsu.

"I'm sorry," he says, and is gone. 

* * *

><p>When Iruka is twelve years old, his genin team stumbles into the middle of an S-rank mission. Iruka's sensei snarls at her team: "Stay hidden, and don't interfere."<p>

Iruka thinks about protesting. He's a genin, now, and he's strong. Instead, he presses himself more tightly against the rain dampened ground and tries not to shake. The fight is fast, too fast for Iruka's untrained eye to track. He catches a glimpse of lightning, the flash of shuriken, the flick of Sensei's long braid.

The air smells of blood and burnt flesh.

His teammates cry out when the enemy nin breaks through the canopy above them. Iruka doesn't have time to cry out. He is on his back, his arms pinned to his side by the woman's strong thighs. There is an open wound along the woman's hairline. Blood streaks down one side of her face. She smiles down at Iruka, wide and sharp and hungry.

Her dark blonde hair is a curtain around them. Iruka can see nothing but the woman's wide mouth, her dark eyes. They are alone in the world, and the woman leans down to part Iruka's lips with her own. Her tongue is long, thick-it fills Iruka's mouth, steals his breath. The woman carries the bitter taste of poison on her lips.

It is over in seconds. The enemy nin goes stiff and still against Iruka. Blood spills from her mouth onto Iruka's startled face, and she slides limply from his body. Sensei stands at the treeline, a second kunai in hand. The poison in Iruka's system makes it impossible to move. He nearly chokes on his own vomit.

He is carried back to Konoha on Sensei's back. 

* * *

><p>Iruka is no longer that boy. He has seen worse, and done worse. The memory of the enemy nin's kiss shouldn't make Iruka shudder in revulsion, shouldn't make cold dread rise up the length of his spine. It is over, done with, and Iruka should be over the experience.<p>

He isn't. 

* * *

><p>"I fucked up," Iruka tells the sake cup in his hand. "Kakashi won't ever talk to me again."<p>

Anko's bare foot taps against Iruka's thigh. "He'll talk to you again," she says. "Unless you really did bite straight through his tongue. Then it's all up to the medic-nin."

"You," Iruka says, "are no help."

Anko laughs, low and wicked. "The great Sharingan no Kakashi, maimed by a kiss!"

Iruka downs the rest of his sake and slumps low. He rolls his neck, and rests his head against the back of Anko's couch. Paint is peeling on the ceiling. Iruka stares until his eyes begin to water.

"I don't want Kakashi to lose his tongue," Iruka mournfully confides. "I like Kakashi's tongue."

"Then you shouldn't have bit it," Anko says. She sighs and shifts forward when Iruka groans. Anko's hand is warm and strong against Iruka's shoulder. "You're a bit fucked in the head," Anko says. "He'll understand."

"I'm going to get very, very drunk," Iruka tells Anko.

And he does. 

* * *

><p>Iruka works with his fellow shinobi every day. He hands them their mission scrolls over the safety of his desk, and accepts mission reports from weary hands. Iruka knows that to be a shinobi is to be damaged: body and heart and mind and soul.<p>

Iruka doesn't believe that he is special. He isn't immune to the ravages of shinobi life. He wants to be. For Kakashi. Iruka wants to be a strong and unbroken rock, the steady presence that supports Kakashi when he is too weary to hold himself tall.

It is fantasy, and arrogance. Iruka cracked when put to the test. He lashed out, thoughtless and panicked-and he hurt Kakashi. That Kakashi trusted Iruka enough to get hurt makes Iruka's heart clench.

He wakes up with the memory of Kakashi's strong back beneath his open palms, and old poison insidious in his veins.

Poison is a slow death, and Iruka is dying still. 

* * *

><p>Kakashi's fingers are long and narrow. There are cuts on his fingertips, scars on his palms, and the joint of his thumb is swollen where it didn't heal properly. Kakashi looks up from his hands, and meets Iruka's eyes.<p>

"When I was still in ANBU," he says, "a missing nin took me by surprise. He got a good start on breaking every bone in my hand." Kakashi's hand clenches and releases against his thigh. "I still can't stand to have anyone touch my left hand. Does that make me weak, Iruka?"

"Kakashi," Iruka says, "no."

Kakashi nods, smiling slowly beneath his mask. "Then do me the favour of not acting like an idiot, Iruka."

Iruka flushes hotly with irritation. "I'm not acting like-!" Except, yes, he is. Iruka clamps his mouth shut, and glowers at the wall behind Kakashi's shoulder. "I hurt you," he says, finally.

"I surprised you," Kakashi says.

"I thought you liked me because I was. . . normal," Iruka says.

Kakashi laughs, short and sharp and genuine. "Iruka, I've never thought you were normal."

Kakashi lowers his mask, and they smile at each other from across the length of Iruka's living room. Iruka takes a hesitant step forward. The next step is easier. He folds onto the couch next to Kakashi. They don't touch, but the possibility is still there. 

* * *

><p>The second time they kiss, Kakashi cups Iruka's cheek in a gentle hand. He asks permission, and leans in only when Iruka breaths his assent. Kakashi has generously given Iruka his permission to bite if Kakashi goes too far, too fast.<p>

Iruka grabs a fistful of Kakashi's hair, and gently nips at his lower lip.

**-end**


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